My middle daughter turned four yesterday. It is a big deal to turn four! She got to wear a “birthday princess” crown to church. She got to choose the restaurant for lunch. She got to open presents at the restaurant. She got to pick the movie that we watched after a nap. It was her day!
We have seen her growing up a lot lately. She loses control less often and when she does lose it, she get’s it back much more quickly. She is learning the beauty of doing good. She is getting better at being without her older sister at home. She really is growing up.
There is one part of her that doesn’t want to grow up. She still sucks her thumb. Sucking her thumb is her link to comfort when she is sad, scared, or tired. It provides soothing when life is more than she can handle. When used in connection to holding her blankie, sucking her thumb sets the world back on its axis.
On Thursday night, we were in the car and talking about her upcoming birthday. Most kids would be so excited about a birthday. But she said that she didn’t want to turn four. When I asked her why, she responded that she didn’t want to stop sucking her thumb. See, every year as her birthday approaches she says that she will stop sucking her thumb when she is a certain age. Then when her birthday is really here, she just can’t do it! So we talked about it some. I told her that maybe she could try to just suck her thumb in her bed once she turned four. That calmed her down and then she said this, “Mommy, I’ll be a big girl when I turn 100.”
Oh, the wisdom of a child! I could see the wheels turning in that little mind. She recognized her pattern of promising to stop and not being able to. So, she picked the biggest age she could fathom and said she would stop then!
I don’t know about you, but I do this too. I tell myself that I will be more disciplined when XYZ is over or I will stop doing something when I am a certain age. They are all excuses for not facing up to my own inability to stop sinful patterns in my own life. I wonder if I ever truly see these patterns until the consequences catch up with me? You know, I have loved to eat and hated to exercise most of my life. But the pattern didn’t raise any red flags until my clothes were getting tight!
What would happen if I took responsibility for sin before consequences caught up with me? What would happen if I took the time to stop and be aware of my own soul’s reaction to sin? What if those were consequence enough to get my attention? What if I recognized my own helplessness to stop and instead invited in the power of God to change my heart so that my behavior would follow?
Those are hard questions and make me want to say, “Lord, I’ll be a big girl when I turn 100.”
We have seen her growing up a lot lately. She loses control less often and when she does lose it, she get’s it back much more quickly. She is learning the beauty of doing good. She is getting better at being without her older sister at home. She really is growing up.
There is one part of her that doesn’t want to grow up. She still sucks her thumb. Sucking her thumb is her link to comfort when she is sad, scared, or tired. It provides soothing when life is more than she can handle. When used in connection to holding her blankie, sucking her thumb sets the world back on its axis.
On Thursday night, we were in the car and talking about her upcoming birthday. Most kids would be so excited about a birthday. But she said that she didn’t want to turn four. When I asked her why, she responded that she didn’t want to stop sucking her thumb. See, every year as her birthday approaches she says that she will stop sucking her thumb when she is a certain age. Then when her birthday is really here, she just can’t do it! So we talked about it some. I told her that maybe she could try to just suck her thumb in her bed once she turned four. That calmed her down and then she said this, “Mommy, I’ll be a big girl when I turn 100.”
Oh, the wisdom of a child! I could see the wheels turning in that little mind. She recognized her pattern of promising to stop and not being able to. So, she picked the biggest age she could fathom and said she would stop then!
I don’t know about you, but I do this too. I tell myself that I will be more disciplined when XYZ is over or I will stop doing something when I am a certain age. They are all excuses for not facing up to my own inability to stop sinful patterns in my own life. I wonder if I ever truly see these patterns until the consequences catch up with me? You know, I have loved to eat and hated to exercise most of my life. But the pattern didn’t raise any red flags until my clothes were getting tight!
What would happen if I took responsibility for sin before consequences caught up with me? What would happen if I took the time to stop and be aware of my own soul’s reaction to sin? What if those were consequence enough to get my attention? What if I recognized my own helplessness to stop and instead invited in the power of God to change my heart so that my behavior would follow?
Those are hard questions and make me want to say, “Lord, I’ll be a big girl when I turn 100.”
1 comment:
Ouch!! You're stepping on my toes! I think there is a little child in all of us. We so want to be grown up, but to be grown up means to learn from our mistakes and to stop going back to them. To give Everything up Completely to Him. And that means letting go of the "things" we hold to and for most of us, that's a very hard thing to do. I think I'll be a big girl when I'm 100 too! :)
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