Messy

I do not like messy. I can handle dirty, but not messy. For instance, it is less of a concern to me that there are dust bunnies on my wood floor than that there are books all over the floor of my office. I am not as concerned about dirty dishes in the sink as I am about countertops covered in junk mail. I don't let toothpaste in the sink worry me as much as dirty clothes covering the bathroom floor.

Sunday was messy. At 7:45pm, we headed all of our dirty children upstairs for a quick bath. It had been a day of constant ministry. Church that morning, a fundraiser lunch and afternoon of activities, and a community trunk or treat event that I had help organize. The kids were sticky from candy and hayrides. Their faces had been painted and so had their hands, when they decorated pumpkins.

We tried to walk through the living room but baby boy had scattered all the candy over the floor and we slipped and slid to the staircase. The stairs were littered with pajamas, shoes, Sunday clothes, and costumes. The kids bathroom was a picture of a perfect disaster where a toddler had thrown every bath toy onto the floor and hidden toothbrushes in the hairbow drawer. When the kids were finally in bed, and a path to the toilet cleared in case of midnight needs, I headed downstairs where I longed to crash.

Instead, I started picking up candy in the living room and then proceeded to our bedroom and bathroom. Our bathtub was full of lemonade trash (it's not as strange as it would seem) and our floor was covered with the many changes of clothes that today had required. In my exhaustion, I began to think about these things:

Ministry is messy. Getting into people's lives is messy. They have stuff and I have stuff and when all that stuff gets together, there is a mess!

I stay away from mess. It brings out the OCD side of me and I want to compulsively clean it up!

By staying away from mess, I keep myself from ministry.

Is that wrong?

Prayer

Tonight I pray for all the mothers in the world...

I pray for the mothers who watch helplessly as their children wither instead of bloom.

I pray for that mother heart that we share and the pain it must endure to survive each day. I pray for miraculous provision to come to their children. I pray for glimmers of hope. I pray for private moments to cry and release the pain. I pray for the world to notice, to act. I pray for the Kingdom to break into their life.

I pray for the men who love them, or at least live with them, to have wisdom in consoling their mother heart.

I pray for their children. I pray that as their bodies wither, their spirits bloom in the loving care of the mother.

I pray for my heart that it might grow in it's capacity to love and be loved. I pray for my children that they may bloom. I pray for perspective that acknowledges the blessings of the life we live.

Sunday Mornings

One of my favorite moments of the week is Sunday morning, driving to church. Quite often, it has been a marathon of insanity to get in the car, on time, to drive 25 minutes to our church. My husband leaves VERY early and so I am Super Mom on Sunday morning. Only, I'm not so super to be around sometimes! :-)

But, once we get in the car, the world begins to change for me. We have a rule that we only listen to praise music on Sunday mornings and once the music begins, no talking, only singing! One of our favorites to sing along to is Chris Tomlin's "See the Morning".

This morning, sweet baby boy sang along for the first time. The only words from the whole CD he knew were "God saves" and he sang them over and over. Sometimes, they were part of the song. Sometimes, they weren't. Who cares?!? Is there anything more important?

God saves.
God saves.
God saves.
God saves.
God saves.
God saves.
God saves.

Amen, baby boy. Preach on!

A Psalm of Praise

Bless the LORD, O my soul
And all that is within me…
All the love and fear
All the anger and peace
All the dreams and doubts
All the kindness and indifference.

Bless the LORD, O my soul
And all that is within me,
Bless His holy name.
Jehovah, Creator
Father, Mother.

Bless the LORD, O my soul
And do not forget his benefits.
He calls my life by his design and equips my mind for his purpose.
HE LOVES ME.
He delivers my heart from despair and leads my desires with his own hand
So that he proves himself faithful, over and over again.

The LORD is.
He is the beginning and the end. He is the compassionate redeemer.
He is the creative healer. He is my mighty warrior.
He is the wise avenger. He is the reliable provider.

He knows my history and my heart.
He knows my purpose and my plan.
He heals the disease of my body and soul.
He hears the cry of my mouth and heart.

Bless the LORD, Raemey, for all that he has done.
Bless the LORD, Ryleigh, for all that he intends.
Bless the LORD, Caysson, for all that he is.
Bless the LORD, Chad, for all that he provides.
Bless the LORD, Rhesa, for he is good.