Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Vulnerability of Innocence

I was driving the children home from small group one night when I overheard the following conversation between my daughters.

4 year old: Knock, knock

6 year old: Who’s there?

4 year old: Hannah Montana

6 year old: Hannah Montana, who?

4 year old: Bough, bough! (yelled at the top of her lungs to imitate an electric guitar)
Giggle! Giggle!
Did that make sense?

6 year old: No

4 year old: Well, laugh anyway! Ha! Ha! Ha!

6 year old: Okay! Ha! Ha! Ha!

As I tried to keep a straight face and stop myself from wondering when knock, knock jokes will lose their appeal, I marveled at the transparency that children show. At first I thought, “Wow! She is so secure in herself that she would ask if that made sense. She worships her older sister and never wants to show weakness. Good for her!”

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she didn’t know that was weakness. Innocence protected her from recognizing that her question would show insecurity. She really just wanted to know if that was a good joke! (Maybe your children are smarter than mine, but they just don’t get what makes a good knock, knock joke yet.)

I long to be that innocent again. I want to ignore my filter when I need honest feedback. Do you know what I mean? That voice that tells you to stop and figure it out later or just stuff it altogether. I want to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to let people see the good, the bad, and the ugly about me! I want to find commonalities in insecurities and seek other’s wisdom in overcoming them.

There are times when I really wish that my children had filters in place. You know, when my six year old tells me that I have a fat tummy. Or when my four year old tells me that the boo-boo (zit) on my nose is really big. But, they are honestly reporting the world from their point of view.

Where is the healthy boundary between filtering what we say to be polite and losing track of honesty altogether? Where is the healthy boundary of being vulnerable without vomiting your stuff all over people? What do you think?

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