I love a good story! I'm known for reading an entire book in a day because I get drawn in. I become very involved in the characters and emotionally invested in what happens to them. Just last night I was reading to my girls before bed. We have been reading "Charlotte's Web" together at night. Last night we read the chapter where Charlotte dies. I had to ask my husband to finish reading it because I kept crying! My girls thought I was crazy.
After we put the kids to bed we turned on a movie. I know, we are behind in movie viewing, but we finally watched "Prince Caspian" in the Narnia series. I was mesmerized! I love fantasy and the whole series is an allegory to our lives in Christ. There were a two images that stuck with me and played out in my dreams last night. The first was Lucy running to hug and wrestle with Aslan. I cried. The innocence and deep love was evident. It was also beautiful. Then when the other three children came before Aslan, they looked ashamed and bowed low. The contrast is powerful.
I have recently wondered why God chose to be revealed through story. While I find story compelling and emotionally involving, it is also a risky way to talk about yourself. There are so many ways that story can be understood and misunderstood. I still marvel at the sheer guts it takes to leave your story in the hands of people! I'm a writer; I know how dangerous that can be. But that is exactly what God chose to do. It astounds me.
As I dreamed last night, I found myself kneeling before Aslan longing to hug him and feel the soft fur under my hands. The image is still fresh this morning. I want to be the child who is innocent enough to run toward God with open arms and expect to be picked up and held in love. I find myself as the adult who cowers in the shadows, afraid to be seen.
Perhaps story allows us to interact with God in ways that seem far enough removed to keep us safe so that when we are ready, we will run out of the shadows to be embraced.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mommyhood
It seems that this time of year calls for a post about motherhood. I have several confessions to make about Mother's Day:
1. I quietly dread this holiday as it reminds me of our first miscarriage that happened just days before Mother's Day 8 years ago. It seems ridiculous to still grieve that loss in light of the three beautiful kids that I have given birth to, but I still grieve. That was the first time I knew how painful being a mother could be. The lesson was so sudden that it seared into my emotional memory.
2. The ironic part of being a mother is that I expend a lot of time and energy preparing for a day that is supposed to give me time off! Just this morning, I mailed off gifts and cards to grandmothers and important women in my life. The humor of it doesn't escape me.
3. Just as Christmas and Easter feel hollow without effort to see past the commercialism, I find this often to be a Hallmark holiday. I know that my children love and appreciate me. I make an effort to communicate my affection and gratitude to my mother often. This day can seem empty.
4. Just as a tree with lights can't begin to capture the mystery of advent, a single Sunday in spring doesn't do justice to the mystery that is motherhood. There has never been any other part of my life that is more challenging and formative than becoming a mom. Giving birth did not make me a mother; I am still growing into one.
5. I made a decision this year to honor women who were formative to me spiritually, women who nurtured me in ways that I wouldn't allow my own mother to. I also became aware of the spiritual mothers present in my children's lives. I want to honor them and hold them up in prayer.
My challenge to you is this: spend Sunday honoring the journey that is motherhood, whether or not you take your mom out to lunch or buy her flowers. Pray over her, bless her. Nurture her spirit in the same ways that you have been nurtured.
1. I quietly dread this holiday as it reminds me of our first miscarriage that happened just days before Mother's Day 8 years ago. It seems ridiculous to still grieve that loss in light of the three beautiful kids that I have given birth to, but I still grieve. That was the first time I knew how painful being a mother could be. The lesson was so sudden that it seared into my emotional memory.
2. The ironic part of being a mother is that I expend a lot of time and energy preparing for a day that is supposed to give me time off! Just this morning, I mailed off gifts and cards to grandmothers and important women in my life. The humor of it doesn't escape me.
3. Just as Christmas and Easter feel hollow without effort to see past the commercialism, I find this often to be a Hallmark holiday. I know that my children love and appreciate me. I make an effort to communicate my affection and gratitude to my mother often. This day can seem empty.
4. Just as a tree with lights can't begin to capture the mystery of advent, a single Sunday in spring doesn't do justice to the mystery that is motherhood. There has never been any other part of my life that is more challenging and formative than becoming a mom. Giving birth did not make me a mother; I am still growing into one.
5. I made a decision this year to honor women who were formative to me spiritually, women who nurtured me in ways that I wouldn't allow my own mother to. I also became aware of the spiritual mothers present in my children's lives. I want to honor them and hold them up in prayer.
My challenge to you is this: spend Sunday honoring the journey that is motherhood, whether or not you take your mom out to lunch or buy her flowers. Pray over her, bless her. Nurture her spirit in the same ways that you have been nurtured.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
