I sent my baby to kindergarten today. I sent my baby to kindergarten today. I can't believe that I sent my baby to kindergarten today.
What seems unreal about that is that I have to send her tomorrow and the next day and the next. I can let go for one day; in fact, that is pretty nice. But, I have to send her again and again for the next 13 years. And then, well...I can't even think about that.
Parenting is all about letting go. It starts from the moment they are born and have to let go of that umbilical cord. Growing up is a series of "being let go's" that should have us prepared to be adults.
Yesterday at church we talked about moving out of college and realizing that our spiritual food is now our own responsibility. I don't think that I had thought of it in those terms. I don't think that I was ready; I'm not sure that I'm ready now.
I learned how to do laundry, clean a house, drive a car, balance a checkbook (with Quicken), and grocery shop at the heals of my parents. They modeled daily prayer and bible study for me but that lesson didn't sink in as well, for some reason. The importance of it did but not the doing.
What about you? When you were ultimately "let go" what lessons did you realize hadn't sunk in very well? How can I, as a mom, instill those lessons in my children?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
In the Spirit?
I am very nervous writing this entry. My church background does not prepare one to write about being in the Spirit. In fact, most people from my church background aren't even sure what the Spirit is. That ignorance is what prompted this entry. I don't have any answers, just more questions.
John describes himself as being "in the Spirit" when he received the visions that are recorded in Revelation. I have never known what that meant. Aren't believers filled with the Spirit all the time? The Old Testament describes the Spirit of the Lord descending on people such as David to show the Lord's favor and also records the Spirit being removed from Saul when he sinned against the Lord. Jesus promised that the Spirit would come when he left.
Beyond knowing that I was supposed to receive the Holy Spirit when I was baptized, I've never been sure what else the Spirit did. I know that we have a list of fruit the Spirit bears when it lives in us, but how does that really work? I know that Hebrews describes the Spirit interceding for us in prayer before the Father.
What I suppose it really comes down to is that I have head knowledge about the Spirit but I don't feel that knowledge. I haven't experienced it.
In just this past month, I have had two different encounters with other believers that left me asking questions about my own life. Both revolved around this idea of being "in the Spirit". One said that she begins every prayer time by confessing sin and reviewing encounters with people from the past days making sure that there is nothing she needs to apologize or repent of. She said that if she didn't do that, her prayers would not be heard. The other talked about living every day in the supernatural power of the Spirit. She said that the reason most of us get so tired is that we live on our energy and not God's. She talked about living in truth because the negative feelings that come from guilt and conflict use a lot of energy and block the Spirit from being in control.
I don't know how to respond to these ideas. I want to know this kind of energy and power. I want my prayers to be heard. But this felt a little "other worldly" in a way that I wasn't comfortable with. So my real question to myself is, "Am I uncomfortable because it's new to me or because it's wrong?"
I'm not sure yet for myself. What do you think?
John describes himself as being "in the Spirit" when he received the visions that are recorded in Revelation. I have never known what that meant. Aren't believers filled with the Spirit all the time? The Old Testament describes the Spirit of the Lord descending on people such as David to show the Lord's favor and also records the Spirit being removed from Saul when he sinned against the Lord. Jesus promised that the Spirit would come when he left.
Beyond knowing that I was supposed to receive the Holy Spirit when I was baptized, I've never been sure what else the Spirit did. I know that we have a list of fruit the Spirit bears when it lives in us, but how does that really work? I know that Hebrews describes the Spirit interceding for us in prayer before the Father.
What I suppose it really comes down to is that I have head knowledge about the Spirit but I don't feel that knowledge. I haven't experienced it.
In just this past month, I have had two different encounters with other believers that left me asking questions about my own life. Both revolved around this idea of being "in the Spirit". One said that she begins every prayer time by confessing sin and reviewing encounters with people from the past days making sure that there is nothing she needs to apologize or repent of. She said that if she didn't do that, her prayers would not be heard. The other talked about living every day in the supernatural power of the Spirit. She said that the reason most of us get so tired is that we live on our energy and not God's. She talked about living in truth because the negative feelings that come from guilt and conflict use a lot of energy and block the Spirit from being in control.
I don't know how to respond to these ideas. I want to know this kind of energy and power. I want my prayers to be heard. But this felt a little "other worldly" in a way that I wasn't comfortable with. So my real question to myself is, "Am I uncomfortable because it's new to me or because it's wrong?"
I'm not sure yet for myself. What do you think?
Monday, August 6, 2007
Rest
I have a lot of stuff on my mind today. I'm sure that many of you do too!
I'm thinking about work and all that I need to do. I'm thinking about church yesterday. I'm thinking about vacation and all that has to be finished so that we can leave. I'm thinking about my poor kiddos that I left at home, not feeling very good. I'm also thinking about sleep.
Sleep is a very normal pattern of thought for a mother of three young kids. I covet sleep, I must confess to you. Just this week, I have started bribing our oldest to not wake me up in the night. We call them "silly wake ups" because sometimes she just wants to know if we are there.
This weekend, I was talking with my neighbor and friend who is a new mom. Her daughter is just 3 months old. She was asking me if I thought that her baby slept too much. I remember being a new mom and worrying about the same thing. I told her what my pediatrician told me.
Babies grow and learn more in their first 12 months of life than at any other time. It is hard work! As they sleep, cells repair themselves and multiply. Synapses in the brain form more permanent connections. In short, the only way that babies can achieve all that they need to is by sleeping. In fact, by sleeping a whole lot!
It seems possible to me that there is a connection to the spiritual realm. In order to grow into all that we are intended to, there must be times of rest. Yes, we must feed our souls with prayer and scripture. But without rest, those "cells" won't be able to multiply and take root in our hearts.
I think it important to say here that I don't just mean sleeping. I mean resting in the Lord. Meditating, being in solitude with Him. It is there, as we just listen and wait, that our souls create permanent connection.
What do you think?
I'm thinking about work and all that I need to do. I'm thinking about church yesterday. I'm thinking about vacation and all that has to be finished so that we can leave. I'm thinking about my poor kiddos that I left at home, not feeling very good. I'm also thinking about sleep.
Sleep is a very normal pattern of thought for a mother of three young kids. I covet sleep, I must confess to you. Just this week, I have started bribing our oldest to not wake me up in the night. We call them "silly wake ups" because sometimes she just wants to know if we are there.
This weekend, I was talking with my neighbor and friend who is a new mom. Her daughter is just 3 months old. She was asking me if I thought that her baby slept too much. I remember being a new mom and worrying about the same thing. I told her what my pediatrician told me.
Babies grow and learn more in their first 12 months of life than at any other time. It is hard work! As they sleep, cells repair themselves and multiply. Synapses in the brain form more permanent connections. In short, the only way that babies can achieve all that they need to is by sleeping. In fact, by sleeping a whole lot!
It seems possible to me that there is a connection to the spiritual realm. In order to grow into all that we are intended to, there must be times of rest. Yes, we must feed our souls with prayer and scripture. But without rest, those "cells" won't be able to multiply and take root in our hearts.
I think it important to say here that I don't just mean sleeping. I mean resting in the Lord. Meditating, being in solitude with Him. It is there, as we just listen and wait, that our souls create permanent connection.
What do you think?
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